Showing posts with label Business Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Business Jokes. Show all posts

To do nothing you should be at Top

A Bird sat on Tree doing NOTHING

A Rabbit thought to do the same & sat on Ground

Tiger cam & ate it!!

Moral : To sit & do NOTHING, You need to be on top :)

Stock and Shares Defination

Stock and Shares Definations

BSE : Bombay Se Exit
NSE : Nation Se Exit
F/O : Future Over
NIFTY : No Income For This Year
FII : Fraudulent International Investor
PE : Plunge Endless
EBITDA : Exit Before It Tumbule Down Again
HNI : Has No Idea
PMS : Pre-Meditated Scam
SIP : Suicide by Investing Patiently
CORRECTION : The Next Day After You Bought Shares MOMENTUM
BUYING : The Fine Art Of Buying High And Selling
Low VALUE BUYING = The Fine Art Of Buying Low And Selling Even Low

Stop Talking and Smile

The only person on this earth, who can ask women to stop talks,
and in reply, gets a smile back from her is...

A Photographer

Not Dying Hungry

Boss :"since the day i fired you, why the hell do you shit infront of my house every morning?"

Servant : Boss I just wanna show you that I am not dying hungry !!!

Breaking of Ego

Bill Gates-agar main SUBAH se apni Car me niklu to "SHAM" tak apni adhi ZAMIN bhi nahi dekh sakta,

Kallu-hamare paas bhi pehle aisi hi KHATARA CAR thi,maine to bech di...!

Advantge of Learning foreign Language

Mouse was Going wid his Kids
A Cat jumped infront of dm

Mouse shoutd

Cat runs away

Mouse=Dats d Advntge of Lerning foreign Lnguage


An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.

"Your workers, they're escaping!" cries the visitor.

"You've got to stop them."

"Don't worry, they'll be back," says the American.

And indeed, at exactly one o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break.

When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, "Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?" "Forget the machines," says the visitor. "How much do you want for that whistle?"

Japanese management lecture

Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.

'You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution,รข€ screamed the terrorist leader, 'and you're going to be executed! Do you have any last requests?'

Cost of Calf

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.

"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.

"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."

Custom Software

My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software usually came as source code and was executed through an
interpreter. He started a small business selling his custom software.

One day at a scientific meeting, he noticed another company was showing the software

Reasons to stay at work all night

1. Act out your version of a company takeover.
2. Find a way to change everyone's password to "chrysanthemum".
3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature.
4. Sneaking in the boss's desk could land you an unexpected promotion.
5. Draw stick people in all the landscape pictures on the walls, and in the morning, be the first to point out "what a terrible thing that someone did this to such beautiful works of art".
6. Go into the other gender's bathroom without fear of being caught.
7. Run up and down the hallways screaming, hoping security will come so you can have someone to talk to.
8. Leave prank messages on the CEO's voice mail.
9. Finally, a chance to live out a dream and pretend to be your boss.
10. Elevator surfing!