My Life and Titanic

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by
Bill Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report,
with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool
professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic:..... $29.99.
Clinton :..... $29.99.

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read.
Clinton :..... Over 3 hours to read.

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love,
and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love,
and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshite artist.

Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing