Showing posts with label Children Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children Jokes. Show all posts

Lesson learnt at school

Today when I look back at what I learned during my formidable days of schooling, I see the so called punishments from my beloved teachers as great learning in life.

1. Stand up on the bench - Take a holistic view, look at the big picture

2. Stand with hands up - Aim high, reach higher

3. Stand facing the wall - Introspection

4. Stand outside the class - Learn through observation, take a world view

5. Kneel down - Humility

6. Murga Bano -
Physical endurance

7. Clean the blackboard - Forget and forgive, start with a fresh slate

8. Finger on your lips - boast less

9. Hold your ears - listen more
10. Touch your toes - Be flexible & respect elders 

11. Write down a line 25 times - work towards perfection

12. Detained after school - Dont join the rat exclusive

School kya hein

एक टीचर ने बच्चे से पूछा :
स्कूल क्या है ....??
बच्चा-स्कूल वो जगह है ..
जहाँ पर हमारे पापा को लूटा जाता है
हमें कूटा जाता है"  😂😭😢

The Yellow Duck

A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Johnny, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him, "Johnny, how many times have you seen a red duck?"
Young Johnny replied with, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."

Mein itna bada kab hounga

Chota bacha apni maa se,
Maa main itna bada kab hunga
ke apse poche bina
har jaga chala jaun
Maa buhat pyaar se,
Beta itna bada to tera baap bhi nahi hua aaj tak

Two Little Boy v/s Priest

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor & decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally.
One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.
As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.
Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying: "One For Me, One For U, One For Me, One For U".....
He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a church nearby, for the priest.......................
"Father, pls come with me . Come & witness God & satan sharing corpses at the cemetery"......
They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued: "One For Me, One For U, One For Me, One For U'............
Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said:
"What About The Two At The Gate?"...........
You should see the marathon.........
The priest almost ran pass the church gate..shouting:"We Are Not Dead Yet oohh!!!".

Santa recorded baby's voice

Santa-Oye kya kr raha ho?
Banta-Is Baby Ki Aawaz Record Kr Raha Hun!
Banta-Wo Jab Bada Ho Jaega,Use Iska Matlab

Agar mein First Division Paas ho gaya toh

KID - Papa agar aapko pata chale ki me
First Division paas hua to aapko kaisa lagega?
PAPA - Main to Khusi se Pagal ho jaunga.
KID - Bas isi Dar se main Fail ho gaya..

God is missing and they think we did it : Children Jokes

A couple had two mischievous little boys, ages eight and 10. At their wits' end, the parents contacted a clergyman who had been successful in rehabilitating bad children in the past.

The clergyman asked to see the boys individually. The eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and asked what happened.

The younger brother replied, "We are in big trouble this time. God is missing, and they think we did it!"

Ek sanam chahiye

Ek bachha ro raha tha,
to uski mummy boli : kyun ro raha hai mera lal,
kya chahiye.. ??
Toffy.. ??
Biscuit.. ??
Cake.. ??
Beta: Bas ek sanam chahiye
Aaashiqui ke liye

Pappu ki Behen Pari hein...!!

Pappu: Mom Aap ne mujse jhoot bola...
Mom: Kab beta ??
Pappu: Aap ne kaha k tumhari
chhoti bahen Pari hai..
Mom: Haan hai..
Pappu: To jab use balcony se phenka to vo udi kyu nai..???

Why kallu close his Ear

In a skool function--A L.K.G boy (kallu) closed his ears with both hands when "A Girl" was about to start her speech..
his frnd Golu askd him- why are u closing ur ears..??
He replied- Dude, she is my "Girlfriend"
and she is gonna start her speech with:
"My dear, brothers and sisters..!!

Bal Vivah

Teachr:Bachho tum sabse zyada kise nafrat krte ho?
LKG Boy: Raja Ram Mohan Roy
Techer:why do U hate him?

Boy:Usi ne baal vivah par rok lagya tha

Mischievious Son In Heaven

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"

Grandma's Hair

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

Friends are like Balloons

Friends are like Balloons

If you let them go...................................

you cant get them back

So i'm gonna tie you to my heart So i will never lose you

Friendship Test

ThE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe...

From the Heart

The following letter was forwarded by someone who teaches at a junior high school in Memphis, Tennessee; the letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all humankind. Read it, soak it in, and bask in the warm feeling that it leaves you with.

Dear Reyer School:

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the county home for the aged. All my people are gone. It's nice to know that someone thinks of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but would never let me listen to it, no matter how often or politely I asked. The other day her radio fell and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful. She was very upset. She then asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to buzz off.

Edna Johnston

Daddy's Password

A guy was typing away at his home computer, when his six- year-old daughter sneaked up behind him.

Suddenly, she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

"What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly.

Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!" (*****)

ID10T Support

Customer: "One of my friends gave me an ImageWriter printer and this keyboard. He said he gave me all the cables, but I can't figure out how to connect them. Am I missing something?"

Tech Support: "Well, a computer would help."

Customer: "You mean this keyboard isn't a word processor?"

Tech Support: "No ma'am, its just an input device."

Customer: "Then I need to buy a computer, right?"

Tech Support: "Yes."

Customer: "Do you think I'll need a monitor, too?"

Don't Look at the Light!

Customer: "My mouse doesn't work any more."

Tech Support: "Is it an optical or ball mouse?"

Customer: "Huh?"

Tech Support: "Does it have a ball or light?"

Customer: "It has an light on top."

Tech Support: "On top?"

Customer: "Yeah. It was underneath before, but it looks better when it's on top."

Tech Support: "Ok, try turning it around so the light points down on the desk."

Customer: "Oh! It works!"