Showing posts with label Semi-Veg Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Semi-Veg Jokes. Show all posts

Are you Fedup of mosquito

Kya aap Machharo se pareshan hai.....?
Sone me takleef hoti hai ..?

Machharo ke sone ke baad so jao
What an idea sir ji :)

Murkh aadmi ki biwi

Lalu : Vidvano ne kaha hai.. ki Murkh aadmi ki biwi bahut sundar
Rabdi : Dhat.... Aap ke paas to hamaar taarif ke Alawa kono kam nahi hai

The Divorce

Banta Went for Divorce
Judge: You have 3 Kids
How Will you Divide Them?
Banta Thinks Hard & Says,
‘Oye.. IDEA, We’ll Come Next Year With 1 More

I hate Hospitals

Girl Romantically said to a santa: Do U want to see the place
where they did Apendix Operation to me?
santa: No, I hate Hospitals.

Get 100% satisfaction

Management Lesson
You spent 100% income on your wife and get 10% satisfaction.
on the other hand
You spent 10% income on your girlfriend and get 100% satisfaction.
your money, your decision.

Malika Hot

Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.

Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!

Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?

one kiss per yard

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face,the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, thenheld it out teasingly.The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her.
"Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

You are Passionate

Two police officers saw an old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman.

As they drove through the streets they kept asking the old woman where she lived, all the old lady would say as she stroked the officers arm is, "You're Passionate."

They drove awhile longer and asked again, but again the same response as she stroked his arm, "You're Passionate."

The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, "Look we have driven around this city for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live!"

She replied, "I keep trying to tell you, you're passin it!"

sheik on Camel

One shiek and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. shiek  gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt, just then a guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?"

shiek replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel."

Two Drunkens

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, "I slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other says, "Go home dad you're drunk."

Oversea Trip

Two ladies went through the custom check point after an oversea trip. Customer Officer found Lady A had seven branded panties in her luggage. When Lady A said the panties were not bought oveaseas, the Customer Officer asked: "Why do you need to bring seven panties on an oveasea trip?"

Lady A replied: "I do not do washing when I am abroad. Don't you know that one week has seven days?" She was let go without having to pay tax. Customer Officer then opened the suitcase of Lady B and found twelve panties. When she insisted that she brought them from home, the Custom Officer asked: "Why do you need to bring twelve panties on an oversea trip?" The offended Lady B replied: "I also do not wash when I travel. Don't you know that one year has twelve months?"

Two men in Mall

Two men with babies bump into each other at the mall

- I am very sorry about that, I didn't see you I was looking for my wife.
- You know what, I'm looking for mine too, I don't know what happened to her, where she is..
- Well, how does your wife look, let's search for her together.
- Well, she's tall, gorgeous legs, big boobs, tight ass, cute face, thick lips, and so on, what about yours?
- Forget about mine, let's look for yours!!

Pay attention Student's

First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you are not disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them calmly and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention...."