Santa recorded baby's voice

Santa-Oye kya kr raha ho?
Banta-Is Baby Ki Aawaz Record Kr Raha Hun!
Santa-Kyun?
Banta-Wo Jab Bada Ho Jaega,Use Iska Matlab
Puchunga

Santa to Police - Santa Banta Jokes

Police – “aapke ghar kee talaashi leni hai !”

Santa – “kyon ?”

Police – “khabar mili hai ki aapne ek khatarnaak aatankwadi ko apne ghar mein rakhaa hua hai !”

Santa – “khabar to bilkul sahi hai bhai … par aajkal woh maayke gai hui hai !!!”

Difference between Filmi and Real life

Filmi life aur Asli life me kya ANTAR hai?

Santa: Film me bahut mushkilo k baad shadi hoti hai.
Asli life me shadi ke baad bahut mushkil hoti hai.

Santa ki Suicide na karne ki Speech - Santa Banta Jokes

Santa 'suicide' nhi karne ki speech de raha tha.
Santa-
"Suicide nhi
karna chahiye.
Suicide darpok, bujhdhil,
kaayar log karte hai...
Suicide karne
se toh acha hai ki aap
zeher kha lo..."

Banta ki Wife ko Saanp ne kata

Santa: Dekh teri biwi ko saap kaat raha hai!

Banta: Abey wo kaat nahi raha...uska 'Zeher' khatam ho gaya hai to wo RECHARGE Karwane aaya hai

In English:

Santa : Look, Snake is bitting your Wife.
Banta: Relax Dude, He is not bitting, He is just Refilling/Recharging  his Poison

Santa in Hotel

Santa in Hotel : Mai Yaha Nahi Rahunga,

Mere Paise Wapas Karo Itna Chhota Room,

Mujhe Janwar Samja Hai Kya ?

.
.
.
.

.

Waiter : Mere Baap Room Me Chal Ye Lift Hai..!

Santa ne sagai kyun tod di??

Santa:- Oye Tune Apni Sagai Kyun
Tod Di?
.
.
Banta: Are Us Ka Koi Boyfriend Nhi
Tha....

.
Santa: Toh..?
.
.
.
.
.
Banta: toh, Jo Aaj Tak Kisi Ki Na Ho Saki
Wo Meri Kya Hogi...

Akhrot khane se Dimaag tez hota

1 Aadmi akhrot bech raha tha..
Santa ne poocha - ye khane se kya
hota hai ?
Aadmi - dimagh tez hotahai.
Santa : kaise?
Aadmi : Acchha ye batao 1 kilo
chaawal me
kitne daane hote hain ?
Santa : pata naheen...
Aadmi ne usko aek akhrot khilaya..
aur bola: Batao 1darzan me kitne
kele hote
hai ?
Santa : 12
Aadmi : dekha , dimaag tez hua
na ....
Santa : 1 kilo de do.

Dil cheer ke dekh

Santa:" mujhe uss ladki se bachao.. . . .
Banta:" kyo ?? . . .

Santa:" jab se maine kaha dil cheer k dekh tera hi naam hoga..
  chaku leke piche pad gyi hai..

HEIGHT OF STUPIDITY

Santa radio thik karwane gya.
Mechanic ne dekh k kha: Ye thik hai,Mausam kharab hai,
Isliye nhi chal rha.

Santa:Le 100rs,Mausam naya daal de.

Kanjoos Banta and his Son

Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.
Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?
Son: Suraj
Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.

Santa in Art Gallery

SANTA- In art gallery: ye bhynak tasvir ko aap modern art kahte hai?

Art Dealer: Mere bap tu dimag mat laga ghar ja, ye aaina hai:...

Abhi Talash Jari

2 Seat Wala Helicopter ,Kabristan mein Crash ho gya,.
Agle din TV par Headlines "Two Seater Helicopter Crashed,Punjab Police ne 150 Lashen Dhoondh Nikali aur Abhi talash Jari"

Jatt Winning A Nobel Prize

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a jatt standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the jatt is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the jatt and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"
The jatt replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

I have see your password

Santa was drawing money from ATM, Kaalu behind him in the line said,

"Ha! Ha! Haaaa! I've seen ur password.

Its 4 asterisks (****).

The Santa replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong, Its 5432

Essay on Dog

Master: Mein tenu kutte te essay likhan nu keha si, Likh ke kyu nahi liyanda ?

Student: Ki karda masterr g, jidan he mein kutte te Pen rakhia oh paj geya! ! !

Santa and Genie

A Punjab Police employee sits in his office and out of
boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet.
He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass
lamp.

"This will look nice on my mantlepiece," he decides, and
takes it home with him.

While polishing the lamp, a genie appears.

"For setting me free, I am granting you three wishes.
So tell me what are they?" Genie asks.

"I wish for an ice cold beer right now!"

He gets his beer and drinks it. Now that he can think
more clearly, he states his second wish.

"I wish to be on an island where beautiful young girls
reside."

Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing
him lustfully.

He tells the genie his third and last wish, "I wish I'd
never have to work ever again."

POOF!

He's back in his government office.

64 Dand [64 Teeths]

Jatt: Mein tere 64 de 64 Dand Todd dene hai.

Ik hor aadmi ne Keha beerjee 64 nahi 32 Dand hunde ne.

Jatt: Meinu patta se Tu V bolega is laye Tere V Gin Laye ne...

Balwinder and Elizabeth

Elizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane. Everybody around greeted her. Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty in finding a seat. She saw our Balwinder who was sitting next to a vacant seat.She went up to him and introduced herself saying in her cool sexy voice,
"Hi, I am Elizabeth Taylor... Liz to you."

Balwinder was bewildered but immediately responded,

"Hi I am Balwinder .. Balls to you."

Santa and Wash Basin

Santa goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?"

To this the man replies,"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,'Wash Basin' ".