Joke and SMS | Jokes ,SMS and Greetings: Husband-Wife Jokes

Showing posts with label Husband-Wife Jokes. Show all posts

How men feels while driving with Wife??

A woman was preparing eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!

Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.

Old man and his BMW

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW out the car sales room . Taking off down the motor-way , he floored it to 90 , enjoying the wind blowing through . Amazing he thought as he flew down the Motor Way, looking in his
rear view mirror , he saw a
police car behind him , blue light flashing , siren blaring .
'' I can get away from him - no problem ! '' He floored it to130 , then 140 ...then 150 ...
Suddenly, he thought , '' What on earth am I doing ? I'm too old for this nonsense !'' So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him .
Pulling in behind him , the officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW , looked at his watch and said, ''Sir , my shift ends in ten minutes , Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend , If you can give mea reason I've never heard before for why you were speeding , I'll let you go ''
The Man looked very seriously at the police man , and replied , '' Years ago , my wife ran off with a policeman , I thought you were bringing her back , ''
The Cop left saying ''Have a good day , Sir....!!

Prayer before eating food

A couple was having dinner at a
restaurant...
As the food was served, the
husband said:
The food looks delicious, let's
eat!
Wife: Honey, you say prayer
before eating at
home.
Husband: That's at home,
Sweetheart. Here
the chef knows how to cook.

Swarg ko swarg kyun kahte

Wife :- Suna hai swarg me husband aur wife ko saath me nahi rehne dete ....
.
.

Husband :- Pagli, tabhi to use swarg kehte hai .....

True Defination of 'Checkmate'

You Tell To ur wife : I Saw a Lady
Looking Same Like You :)

Wife Asks : WAS SHE HOT ;) ?

U cant say "No"
U cant say " Yes" ;)

CHECKMATE

Valentine Gift

Wife Hints to husband for a New Car in this Valentine Day !!!!!

"Dear! buy me something that goes from 0 to 90 in 2 seconds,

When i am on it."

.

.

.

.

.
.

Husband gifted Her-A "Weight Machine"

Keep a Spare Tyre

HUSBAND And WIFE Are Like 2 Tyres Of A
Vehicle

If 1 Punctures, The Vehicle Can't Move
Further...

Moral :
Always Keep A SPARE TYRE ;-

I want more Proof

A woman was kidnapped, the kidnapper cut her finger and sent to her husband to ask money.
Husband replied
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"I want more proof,
KHOPRI BHEJ KHOPRI."

What are you looking for?

Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date...:)

Ask the Grave-yard management

After the death of her husband, A husband's friend came & asked to that wife-- May I take the place of your husband?

-
-

Wife-- I have no objection ! Ask the Grave-yard management

Would you like to buy

A door to door salesman knocked on a door and a woman answered.

"Hello," said the man, "Would you like to buy a book titled 500 excuses

to give your wife for staying out late ?"

"Why on earth would I buy a book like that ?" asked the woman.

"Because," replied the salesman, "I sold a copy to your husband this morning."

Smart Drunk Man

A drunk man arrives late at home. He knows his wife won't open the door, so he decides to pretend he bought her flowers & knocks at the door...

Wife: Who is it ?

Drunk: I bring flowers for the pretty lady...

Wife opens the door & says: Where are the flowers ?

Drunk: Where is the pretty lady ?

Height of Misunderstandings

Kaalu ke dost ki Death ho gayi
woh uski Biwi ke pas aya Or bola: Kya mai us ki jagah le sakta hu?
Biwi :Mujhe koi aitraaz nahi, Kabristaan walo Se Puch Lo.....!

7 Types of Girls

There are basically 7 TYPES OF GIRLS

1. HARD DISK Girls:
Remember everything forever.

2. RAM Girls:
Forgets about you the moment you turn her off.

3. SCREENSAVER Girls:
just for looking.

4. INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to access.

5. SERVER Girls:
Always busy when needed.

6. MULTIMEDIA Girls:
Makes horrible things looks beautiful.

7. VIRUS:These type of girls are normally called 'WIFE'
once enters in your system don't leave even after format